Culprit Cupid

Had I met you in person, I would've broken both your arms, snapped your bow, and shoved the arrows up your arse!!!

And then perhaps you'll think twice before playing around with your arsenal.

Johan dan Enny

Kenapa Johan (terus) jatuh cinta pada Enny?

- Johan dari dulu banget suka sama Enny, tapi Enny masih punya pacar. Jadi johan nunggu selama setahun sampai Enny putus, baru berani mulai telpon2 dan ngajak nonton

- Johan ngedeketin Enny selama 5 bulan, trus nembak, lalu ditolak. Tak patah arang, bulan depannya Johan nembak lagi, diterima

- Enny tau kalo Johan lapar, pasti marah2. Jadi Enny cuma ketawa2 aja kalo Johan ngomel2 sama angkot yang berhenti sembarangan, atau pak polisi yang naik motor tanpa helm

- Kalo Johan nelpon tengah malam, Enny pasti angkat telepon dan tetap mau ngobrol panjang lebar. Padahal Johan tau Enny tukang tidur kelas wahid.

- Enny tau Johan paling suka niru karakter di film abis nonton. Begitu nonton Yamakasi, Johan maunya jalan sambil salto. Selesai nonton Starwars, Johan pengen punya lightsaber.

- Enny ngga pernah protes kalo harus nemenin Johan main futsal atau olahraga lainnya.

- Johan tau kalo Enny orangnya kaku sama orangtua. Tapi Enny tetap rela mematung diri di dapur rumah Johan untuk bantuin ibu Johan bikin siomay.

- Enny ngga pernah bohong. Sekalinya nyoba bohong, pasti langsung ketawa2 sendiri sambil mukanya merah.

- Enny ngga suka drama2an. Kalo kangen ya kangen. Kalo ngga ya ngga. Tapi anehnya, akhir2 ini, Enny kangen terus sama Johan

- Walau koleksi CD Johan aneh2, Enny tetap mau kok dengerin sama2. Ngga protes sama sekali

- Enny udah cantik tanpa pake makeup. Cukup digodain sedikit, blush on alami udah akan muncul di pipi Enny.

- Kalo lagi jalan2, Enny akan simpenin tiket parkir Johan tanpa diminta. Karena Enny tau, kalo ngga disimpenin tiketnya bakal hilang

- Enny selalu berinisiatif bayarin parkir dan tol kalo lagi jalan2 sama Johan.

- Enny adalah pacar pertama Johan yang setelah pisah masih telpon2an dan jadi teman baik sama Johan

- Enny ngerti banget kalo memang hubungan mereka lebih baik disudahi. Sekali lagi, tanpa drama.

Gimana Johan ngga kelepek2 kalo sekarang harus pisah sama Enny?

“Jalan kita masih panjang, biar terus berjalan “
Tolong Tuhan bantu hamba, jangan Kau buat sirna

Johan dan Enny - NAIF

Linger

She came into my life when I was still in college, right after I finished my relationship with the one before her. It’s just fair to admit that I’ve been thinking of C ever since I laid my eyes on her, when I saw her in an exhibition in PS. Yes, I was still in a relationship then.

We spent 5 wonderful years together. My parents never said anything bad about her. My sisters were very fond of her. And when I introduced her to my friends, they always go “ooohhh and aaaaah” at her.

But right after 4 years, she began to show some health problems. My parents tried to divert my attention to another sweetheart. Yes, it was mean, and I didn’t think it was fair, since she had been very faithful and nice to me. I didn’t care she was sick. But what the hell did I know? My friends gave me their 2 cents, most didn’t agree of what my parents were thinking. But it just happened. A family friend, who happened to work for a major automotive company, told my parents that he was going to bring a new lady to my attention, and affection. Believing that he meant no harm, I accepted the offer. All my best wishes to C, for I hope she found someone who might treat her well with her sickness. Doing so, I welcomed Y into my life. And at that particular time, I felt as guilty as Cain.

Things weren’t as smooth with Y as they were before. I had fun with her only on the early weeks of our relationship. I must say that I missed C. C stayed in my mind like the lingering smell of piss long after it had evaporated. Well, maybe not exactly so. It’s amazing how music and smell can bring back images back into your head. Every time I hear The Free Design’s Kites Are Fun, memories of C came back to me, for it was with her that I heard the song for the 1^st time.

To be honest, I can’t mention a single thing that Y has better than C does, except the fact that Y is smaller than C and that suits me better. I understand that I’ve made a decision and I can’t go back. Not even when C has the better of everything. Oh Lord, here I go again.

Dear readers, if you have a similar story with mine, do make sure that you understand the risk you’re going to face when you want to jeopardize what you have with what you’re going to have. In most cases, all 5 senses will go blind and you’ll just have a go at something newer. My parents now realized this, and they’re sorry.

Deciding which to choose between C and Y was one of my biggest mistakes. However unfair it is for Y, I have to admit this.

Honda Civic, I’m sorry I had let you go for a Toyota Yaris

…I really am

From Nothing To Advertising

I have always had a thing for advertising. When I was a lot younger, my father was a subscriber of TIME magazines. And my older sister, of course, like the rest of the flock her age that time, never missed a single edition of seventeen. What I liked most from those magazines were the ads in them. I spent vast amount of times studying the harmony of the copy and image in the ads, and admiring the ideas that fueled such ads. I still do such a thing up to now. Of course, my current selections have a wider range than the likes of seventeen. I’ve also developed a collection of gigabytes of downloaded TV ads.

Being an ignorant brat, I never had the idea of subscribing into more advertising material major in college. All I knew was that advertising was merely a hobby. Naturally, after graduating, I ended up being an AE in a non-ad-related company. Even when I resigned from that company, I ended up working in another non-ad-related one. Then it hit me, after more than 3 years of half-hearted working, that I didn’t enjoy what I was doing then. Of course, as an AE I enjoyed meeting new people, bla bla bla. But I didn’t like the industry I was in. Consultations with friends, asking some “what-if”s about my chance of applying to advertising industry resulted in some confidence degradation. Mine. They told me that it would be very difficult to be accepted in a good ad agency if you don’t have any agency background. Or you’ll have to start from the very beginning, as a trainee. Well, I was willing to settle for less payment or lower position, but by the age of 27, you wouldn’t want to be a trainee.

Determined to try my luck, I did apply to some agencies, big, medium and small ones. All said no. Either it was that I lacked of the character they were looking for in a candidate, or that they were having zero recruitment, OR, that I didn’t have any agency background. The mantra.

However, less than a month ago, an agency called and asked me for an interview session. Good thing people in this company don’t care about prior experience as much as those in other agencies do (though I can’t blame them for having such a thought. It’s just natural). I spoke with the HR director, and all she ever cared in people she recruit were their passion about advertising, people-skill, and properly functioning right and left brain (doesn’t matter which side dominates which, depending on the position applied). 3 interviews undergone (the furthest step I’ve ever been involved with an agency), and they handed me a contract letter saying I’ll be starting by Sept 1^st. As my pen was put to the paper, a dream has also been fulfilled. My agency background is going from zero to leo.

So, to whoever thinking of switching jobs to a different role, to abroad, to a different industry, or simply having a dream, don’t let naysayers bully you by saying you can’t do it, or you’re just to old to start over, or you’re too young, or you simply doesn’t fit. Atomic bombs, planes, electricity, and computers are things that were first built by ideas.

“…everything is just an imagination away…”

PS: the switch punished me with a decrease in both financial matter, and position in the corporate hierarchy. But hey, an arrow has to be pulled to gather power before it can blast in full speed ahead, perfectly aimed to target

... about a boy

4 pm.

The boy had just finished his afternoon bath. It was 4 hours away from seeing stringfellow hawke and dominic santini eradicating yet another stealth terrorist jet, or a missile-full yacht with their helicopter on the telly. So he decided to stroll down the complex, riding his bike to kill some time

Being a daydreamer, he was not fully aware of his surroundings, and kept on pedaling his bike, thinking how macgyver could always had a way to look cool. He had asked his dad to give him a swiss army knife on his coming birthday – when he became 10. In addition to that, the boy had even made a promise to himself – to get himself the exact same jeep macgyver was using by the time he grown. Everything was a blur to him then. Then he was bluntly stopped. His bike hit something. Or someone. The local village kids were playing soccer in a field behind his house. And he hit one of them with his bike. His maid’s bike. Stiff as he was, he didn’t ask for an apology – outloud. He only whispered it. So he continued his journey, and back to pedaling his bike, trying to catch up to the point he left his daydreaming at. The next thing he knew, he was already floored. The kid whom the boy hit kicked him in the back. Bruce lee-like. He got up, and smacked the kid right in the nose. The other soccer players obviously couldn’t stand the sight. That one of them was being beaten by an outsider. So they all jumped to him, punching and kicking him from all directions. The boy went berserk, and managed to find his bike within the count of tens of seconds. Under the punches and kicks, he got on the bike and deliberately tried to run over everyone who stood on his way.

At home, the first thing he did was weightlifting – using his couch in his room. He was a skinny little boy, and all he wanted to do was becoming a strong man so that he could kick the other kid’s butts.

5 pm

The boy waited impatiently for his father to come home with his mother. He didn’t even bother to change his clothes first. When they saw him, the mother shrieked and asked him what happened. Ignoring the mother, the boy asked his father to send him to Shaolin Temple, in China. (The boy then consumed too much of Thio Bu Ki,

Li Bo Yi, the dragon saber, and other kungfu videos on rental cassettes). Smiling, not making fuss of his son messy appearance, his father only asked what have driven him to such request. The boy responded that he wanted to become stronger. He trained pencak silat under the watchful eyes of his “Guru Ngaji” a few days later.

17 years after, by the age of 27, when the future had become present, how he wishes he has half the determination himself had as a kid. The focus and willingness to change the things he could, the serenity to accept the things he could not, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would be
In my tangled state of mind
I've been looking back to find
Where I went wrong

:: too much love will kill you – brian may ::

Blaming People

I came across this article in a site, and thought how applicable the content is to us anywhere in the world

- If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant

- If your teen-age son kills himself, you blame the rock 'n roll music or musician he liked.

- If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

- If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for poor sex education.

- If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.

- If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up with heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean ones.

- If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame the television.

- If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

- If a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

- If a local politician or government official has been proved of corruption but... Well, bygones.

- If a franchised adult magazine decides to.... Ah, nevermind.

Life With a Purpose

A simple incident with a great effect.

I went to Carrefour RatuPlaza a couple of days ago with two friends. We were there because this girl needed to buy her daily needs. And this other one was in agreement with me to get ourselves some ice cream. Cheap ones.

So we strolled along together through the racks in the hypermarket. The trolley traffic was pretty light considering it was a public holiday, only 2 days after gajian time. When we were on the ice cream section, we got separated. I, along with my ice cream hunter sidekick, kept ourselves occupied in the ice cream freezer, where we browsed through the selection of haagen dazs macademia nut, baileys irish cream, vanilla swiss almond and chocolate chip, condemning the prices and sizes. While the other one was (perhaps) busy deciding to get a nutella or crumpy as dressing for her wheat bread - that’s bread – and a shampoo manufactured by either P&G or Unilever.

I finally realized that she was not within our sight. And considered ourselves lost, for this matter. Then we tried calling her to get an information of her whereabouts. My effort produced nothing but a missed call sign on her mobile. Then she tried, and her effort seemed to have reached its goal. We were informed that she was waiting for us in the ice cream freezer (the one which sells campina and walls likes, not the haagen dazs).

On our way there, I was thinking to myself. “Why do we, 2 grown ups, had to call and came to her, rather than her, being alone, come to us?”. Then it hit me, we both knew she was determined to something - buying her groceries. As opposed to us, browsing, having wild and cheap imagination about consuming high-class ice cream, with pockets just as deep to compensate the entry levels.

Now it’s clear to me that when people have a purpose in something, he/she will become a leader to others, and other people with less determination and focus will simply be attracted and be his/her follower. Maybe this little philosophy is applicable to my work life as well. To become an employer, rather than an employee. Bob kiyosaki will envy me.

Same Shit Different Day

The office boy had just been duped into transferring his bank account to a criminal's who tricked him to do it by a spam sms saying that he won a reward from indosat *the fact that he uses telkomsel as his mobile provider didnt deter him from sensing that this was a fraud.

A friend's father died last night and the class mailing list received 5 emails saying our condolences, while another friend from the same class is getting married, sent an invitation to the same mailing list as above's and claimed that he's a virgin. 15 emails got in debating whether the last fact is true or not. Some people are just more interested in sex than anything else in life

Had a meeting with a vendor. My colleague gave the technical person of the vendor a hard time by testing his skill. By the end of the meeting, I caught them (the vendor guys) yelling and blaming to each other in front of the elevator for his incompetencies.

Little sister called to inform that her STNK is going to expire within days and asked me if I can get it extended

My staff from home dropped a caixa (a brazilian drum used for capoeira music) to the office and everyone laughed thinking I joined the cheerleader squad

5.55 pm and the cars in the street right in front of my building looks like a flock of small fish going nowhere

Dropped my parking ticket into the shitting joint

...just another usual day...

threesome with your sibling

I was driving home late last night. The digital clock in my car showed that the time was 11.34pm. I browsed through the radio channels to find a decent song to company me. I stopped as soon as I heard an announcer said something about "threesome".

Okay, I'm not really into such a thing, so after listening for a while, I was about to switch to another channel. As my finger was about to touch the tuner button, a girl called the radio. It was some sort of a testimonial since she had been involved in a threesome before. So I stay-tuned. The conversation went on about when she did it, why, with who, etc. What surprised me was, when she told the radio whom she did it with. It was with her own brother. Her NATURAL older brother. The other participant of the party was the brother's girlfriend. At this moment, I was already flabbergasted, thinking how sick can people be.

There were 2 announcers in the radio last night. And I sensed that one of them was a bit taken aback by what he just heard. So did I. He told her that he didnt think it was a good idea to do such a thing inter siblings. The caller tried to give an excuse, saying she didnt actually do it with her brother. That she just gave him an oral.

........

alright, that didnt make matters better at the very least.

aandd... for the icing on the cake, she told the radio that she confessed about this incident to her boyfriend. As a normal person, I expected the boyfriend would've been furious and ditched her. Instead, he said something like "damn.. why didnt you invite me?"

Too many freaks, not enough circuses...

caught in the act "me"

My girlfriend confronted me with a rather unusual question a couple of nights ago. Out of thin air, she said "mas, did you, or did you not go out with a girl friend last week". I said i did, but i cant remember with which ones and went where. She usually doesnt make such a big fuss out of this. Vice versa. So i got a little bit suspicious with the question, and asked back: "Why? Did any of your friend see me?". She hesitated for a moment, and kept forcing me to answer the question, which i actually already did. So bla bla bla, yadda yadda yadda, and i found out that a friend of hers, happened to see "me" in plaza senayan, strolling the expensive boutiques while holding hands with a girl, and smooching each other occasionally. To which i sneered and finally gave a big laugh.

Come on now, I wouldnt be THAT stupid to cheat on her and pick PS as the rendezvous. I might going to go Mal Puri Indah, or Metropolitan Mal, or Buaran, or even... well, other places.

This really underestimates my wit.

It doesnt belong there

I dont belong here...

That's exatly what came across my mind when i saw what is shown in the pic. I'm not saying that my existence in my office is compared to a pubic hair in a basin. Although, there's a slight similarity. While wondering who-the-hey pissed in the basin makes me wonder how did i end up in where i am now. Now, a responsible janitor will clean up the hair back to where it belong. In the urinoir, or the trash bin. As for me, who will take me to where i should be?

Funny how it slapped me to realize, it is. God sure has a strange way to communicate...

belong not

- Ever seen a pubic hair in the sink?
- Ever seen Darren Fletcher dribbling and making passes?
- Ever seen a red-plated company car in PS at weekends?
- Ever seen a 14-year-old tripping in a club at 3am?
- Ever found a good-looking-not-family-related-bloke photograph in your girlfriend’s wallet?
- Ever found cuts of toenails sticking in your forehead after you prayed?
- Ever accidentally (or not) entered the ladies room and receiving surprised stares from the inhabitants?
- Ever seen tantowi yahya dressed up in a cowboy attire?

- Ever tried putting action figures in your cubicle, only to be stared by your colleagues who put only a calculator and stacks of papers in their desk?
- Ever listened to the cure’s trust in your PC and being asked “what is that song?” from a cubicle neighbour?
- Ever read the beatles anthology in your office break and getting questions like “aren’t they too old for you?”
- Ever gave a ride to a colleague who in the end refused to listen to your cd collection and preferred to hear the radio instead?
- Ever been involved with a professionalism-in-the-office-heart-to-heart conversation with your boss and forgot completely what was in the conversation the second you walk out from his room?
- Ever asked your colleagues to go watch twilite orchestra’s “adventure to the galaxies” together and realized that some of them haven’t ever seen a starwars movie?
- Ever browsed the internet and wished you were living the life of some other people?

- Ever felt that some things actually don’t belong where they are now?

- Ever felt that you actually don’t belong where you are now?