Linger

She came into my life when I was still in college, right after I finished my relationship with the one before her. It’s just fair to admit that I’ve been thinking of C ever since I laid my eyes on her, when I saw her in an exhibition in PS. Yes, I was still in a relationship then.

We spent 5 wonderful years together. My parents never said anything bad about her. My sisters were very fond of her. And when I introduced her to my friends, they always go “ooohhh and aaaaah” at her.

But right after 4 years, she began to show some health problems. My parents tried to divert my attention to another sweetheart. Yes, it was mean, and I didn’t think it was fair, since she had been very faithful and nice to me. I didn’t care she was sick. But what the hell did I know? My friends gave me their 2 cents, most didn’t agree of what my parents were thinking. But it just happened. A family friend, who happened to work for a major automotive company, told my parents that he was going to bring a new lady to my attention, and affection. Believing that he meant no harm, I accepted the offer. All my best wishes to C, for I hope she found someone who might treat her well with her sickness. Doing so, I welcomed Y into my life. And at that particular time, I felt as guilty as Cain.

Things weren’t as smooth with Y as they were before. I had fun with her only on the early weeks of our relationship. I must say that I missed C. C stayed in my mind like the lingering smell of piss long after it had evaporated. Well, maybe not exactly so. It’s amazing how music and smell can bring back images back into your head. Every time I hear The Free Design’s Kites Are Fun, memories of C came back to me, for it was with her that I heard the song for the 1^st time.

To be honest, I can’t mention a single thing that Y has better than C does, except the fact that Y is smaller than C and that suits me better. I understand that I’ve made a decision and I can’t go back. Not even when C has the better of everything. Oh Lord, here I go again.

Dear readers, if you have a similar story with mine, do make sure that you understand the risk you’re going to face when you want to jeopardize what you have with what you’re going to have. In most cases, all 5 senses will go blind and you’ll just have a go at something newer. My parents now realized this, and they’re sorry.

Deciding which to choose between C and Y was one of my biggest mistakes. However unfair it is for Y, I have to admit this.

Honda Civic, I’m sorry I had let you go for a Toyota Yaris

…I really am